I spent a long time trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up... Even years after years of being a "grown up," I was still struggling to figure out what that meant... I thought I was "supposedly" doing things right. I crossed off so many check marks off the adulting checklist. College degree, corporate job, savings, marriage, house, cars, kid...

I refused to admit something was missing. But it was. You know, that thing that's just out of reach... That thing that would make everything better... That thing you just can't seem to figure out... That thing you start believing that isn't meant for you....

Then, one day, I woke up and realized the shit show I was living in and how it couldn't continue... Let's be honest, I knew everything in my life was my responsibility, but who knew I'd create such a mess with it?

Cheating husband turning violent, an autistic child with sensory disorders and multiple health challenges, a chronic illness that was very literally putting me in the grave, repressed shame and guilt, childhood abandonment issues... By the end of this, I had no money, felt like I had no friends, and was left with no direction in life.

I was barely surviving.